by Ezra Rosenstein
Former major league bench warmer Rod Allen is dead. His naked body was found in a gay bar in Las Vegas. He was 30-something years old.
Allen dies with a .220 career batting average, 0 home runs, and only 50 at-bats. He simply wasn't good enough to play in the majors. Nevertheless, he was a good-spirited man.
He had dreams of becoming an MLB announcer. It's unlikely it ever would've happened though because he couldn't speak properly and often said annoying nonsense that bothered his team mates.
He'll be remembered best for chasing a japanese guy and threatening to kick his ass after being beaned with a ball.
During his days in Japan, Allen frequented gay bars and was well known in the Japanese queer nightlife scene. Some bukkake vids of him can still be found. He was a clown.
"He was always saying stupid shit, nonsense, that made us laugh," said a choked-up Alan Trammell. "He sucked balls but we miss him."
Allen's body was filled with concrete and dumped in the Pacific Ocean at his family's request.
I'll miss ya big fella.
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