NEW YORK -- Major League Baseball Commissioner Bob Scanlan handed down a controversial decision today which will allow major league managers to use marijuana and alcohol during gametime in the 1997 season. The rule, the first of its kind in American sports, was announced by Scanlan via fax from MLB corporate headquarters in Manhattan.The rule applies to managers only, players are still required to adhere to MLB contraband policy. Drinking will be permitted in the the dugouts throughout the game, but cannabis must be consumed in the clubhouse, off-camera.
"It's been no secret that managers have been drinking during games for years," Scanlan explained in the fax. "What do you think they've been pouring in that gatorade cup all these years? It's time we get real and quit enforcing silly rules that are bound to be broken. I just ask that managers behave and keep it together."
Braves' manager Bobby Cox commented moments after the decision: "Finally."
Commissioner Scanlan has been criticized of late for making baseball less family-friendly. His decision to allow the Kansas City Royals to put strip club ads throughout the park drew ire from families and chruch groups.
"This is baseball, we're tired of watering down the sport. Enough of the ferris wheels, we need more grit, more credibility."
We asked manager Mat McNeil if he was going to comply with the regulations.
"Yep. I'm going to do what I always have: whiskey on the road trips, beer and weed at home. Winning formula."
Sportswriters have almost uniformly criticized the rule, warning of an increase in team fights and profanity-laced post-game pressers.
"Bunch of bullshit," replied Scanlon.
Apparently inter-league play won't be the only major change in baseball in 1997. It's going to be one crazy season.
No comments:
Post a Comment