RASH OF KILLINGS IN DETROIT

DETROIT -- A spate of recent grisly homicides, including four in the adjacent blocks outside Tiger Stadium, have fans and the community worried this evening.  A total of eleven young girls have been killed, suggesting a serial killer might be in our midst.

"Wooo lordy, I can't believe it, oooh I'm scared," Juwanna Walker said outside the stadium. 

The victims are all teenager girls (jailbait) taken from their homes in neighboring suburbs.  They have all been described as "beautiful."  The killer is apparently keeping their left ears as souvenirs since each victim's ear has been apparently hacked off.

"We believe the killer is a dangerous psychotic who is keeping the ears because he's trying to talk to his victims in the afterlife.  He's most likely a violent schizophrenic clown," Detroit Homicide Detective Laurence Anderson said today.

There has been an outpouring of support from the community.  Mourners are gathering at the kill sites (but they get the fuck out of there before it gets dark).  The girls, we reiterate, are all beautiful.  He preys on especially gourgeous young girls just entering puberty.  So far it seems he only kills them beneath full moons.

We expect that the killer may be writing a note to the police any day taunting them about his crimes. 

Stay tuned to Tiger Bomb for any emerging details.  Commissioner Harry Scanlon chimed in, "Eh, I don't wanna be too hard on the guy [the killer].  I mean, he's out having fun, doesn't surprise me, things happen good and bad in life.  I tip my cap to him."

The staff here at Tiger Bomb expects a "summer of rage" from this mad killer.  Should be very interesting.